Story of a Ranma Saotome you have yet to see, told by Eyk0012 in fine tradition of insanity and written in a vain attempt to break a writer’s block.

I started this story with absolutely 0 idea as to what to write about. Now that I’ve finished Part 1, I have a couple.

C&C appreciated.

Took me longer than I thought it would.

Warning: The mood isn’t Dark, but there’s violence. Nothing serious but I’m gonna warn you that people die ^_^

12/01/01: Date this story was finished the firs time.

2/24/02: Reread and revised. A minor rewrite is what it is.

8p

Part 1

At jusenkyo, a boy fell into a pool and turned into a girl. His father fell into a pool also, and turned into a panda. They were both martial artists and they were both good ones. And now…

= = = = =

Ranma calmly wrung out the top of her do gi and put it back on. She scowled as she caught her reflection off of the water. A girl… she was a girl now. Given, that it was only part time, but still, the fact that Ranma Saotome, the heir to the Saotome Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts was female at present time annoyed him to no end. Going back to the camp, Ranma rummaged through his large backpack until he came across a little worn-out booklet. Taking out a pen borrowed from the Guide’s hut, Ranma absent-mindedly put a check mark at the end of a long row of check marks. Under many lines of check marks over that. Behind of about six pages full of check marks. And in the front of all six pages of check marks, a name. The aqua-transsexual martial artist smiled. It was not a nice smile. Taking out a black object from the pack, Ranma walked outside of the tent.

Genma was currently in Panda form, hastily eating the last remaining bits of their provisions out of sight from where his son was. The thought of sharing it with his son briefly crossed his mind, but there was just too little to share. Besides, his son, a man amongst man, would naturally be willing to forsake his food for his starving father, right? Genma’s danger sense flared, but it was too late as he felt boiling hot water drenching him, turning him back into a man. He whirled about with a kick that hit only air. A few feet away, was Ranma in male form, one hand behind his back and one hand holding a now empty kettle.

"Boy! What’s the meaning of this?!" shouted Genma in what he hoped was an intimidating tone while he shoved back the food into the bushy shrubbery behind him, trying to hide it from his son’s view.

"Don’t even try to hide it oyaji, I see you trying to hide what’s left of our food." Ranma gave a sigh, a sigh that sounded like either he was very, very tired, or very, very bored. "Well, oyaji. It’s been good knowing you… well, not really. I just wanted to see the expression on your human face before you died."

Genma blinked, trying to comprehend what his son was saying. "What are you talking about boy?" Genma turned pale as he saw his son slowly place the arm that was hidden behind his back in front of him. In that hand was a black pistol, and its barrel was pointing directly at the elder Saotome. "What-"

Deep within the forests of Mainland China, several gun shots rang out from an area densely populated with trees.

= = = = =

Ranma sighed as he slowly roasted the meat in the bonfire. Damn oyaji. He was family, so he let the greedy man live longer than otherwise, but this time he went too far. He threw his little booklet into the fire. No need to keep check marks on a dead person.

Taking the meat out, Ranma began taking large chunks of the meat and chewing slowly, enjoying the flavors and savoring for once, a peaceful meal. He jumped to a tree branch high up in the air and gazed at the stars lazily, still holding the stick with the meat on it.

The stars were especially beautiful that night thought Ranma.

= = = = =

The pig-tailed martial artist glanced around at her surroundings. It was a village, primitive by modern standards, surrounded by large wooden walls. In the center, two women were duking it out on top a log hanging between two pillars. Well, girls actually. They were both around his age and the one with the purple hair seemed to be winning. Shrugging, onna-Ranma made her way towards a large table full of food. Seating herself down in one of the chairs, Ranma absent-mindedly watched the fight, not paying attention at the food. The fight ended soon after and the crowd cheered. Her interest waned and she reached out to grab an apple and bit into it, without thinking. The purple-haired girl, the winner of the fight, made her way towards her. Ranma noticed that the girl was glaring at her. Standing right in front of her, the Chinese girl asked the pig-tailed martial artist a question in a very angry tone. Too bad it was in Chinese and Ranma didn’t understand a word of it.

"What?" asked Ranma calmly in his own Japanese. The girl frowned for a second, than answered in broken Japanese.

"You take Shampoo prize. Outsider challenge Shampoo’s honor." She leveled a bonbourri at Ranma. The tip of the mace-like weapon was less than an inch from his face. "Shampoo challenge outsider." Ranma sighed. Another one of those ‘I’ll kill you because you sneezed wrong’ types. She was pretty sick and tired of trying to get them off his back, and found that the easiest way to deal with them was to beat the stuffing out of them first and talking it through with them later. Ranma, with a quick burst of speed, jumped over Shampoo and landed behind her, with a ready stance.

"I accept." The girl, caught off guard only for a second by the display of acrobatics, charged at the smaller girl with her bonbourries and a battle cry. Ranma snorted. This girl had tons of openings. She either overestimated herself immensely, or underestimated the pig-tailed martial artist’s skills equally immensely. Ranma nimbly dodged the strike and planted a solid punch into the girl’s face. The girl flew back and landed with a crunch on the chair Ranma was sitting on only moments ago. The crowd around them gasped, and a withered old crone stood on her cane, watching the scene. Ranma dusted off her hands calmly as she walked towards her backpack. Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to face the defeated amazon. And to get a light peck on her cheek. Ranma raised an eyebrow.

"Shampoo give outsider Kiss of Death. Shampoo kill outsider now." The voice was full of menace and Ranma sighed once again. Another ‘You defended yourself now you must die’ type. The pig-tailed redhead intercepted the amazon’s punch almost lazily and swung her towards the table full of food, and as she threw the girl, kicked her in the guts. She flew back, and landed on the table itself this time. A large pot of hot tea flew towards Ranma and poured its contents on her, turning girl-type Ranma into the boy-type Ranma. The crowd around them gasped again. An ancient and cracked voice came croaking out from behind Ranma.

"Well, who would have know? Looks like you have a jusenkyo curse, Son-in-law." A withered old crone stood over her staff, her long white mane almost reaching the ground. Ranma gave her a questioning glance.

"Son-in-law? I doubt that, seeing as how I don’t even know who you are."

"I am Kuh-Lon, the Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku Chinese Amazons. And you, an outsider, have just defeated my great-granddaughter. According to our laws, an outsider who defeats one of our warriors must be given the Kiss of Marriage and be joined into the tribe." Ranma stared at Cologne and than back at Shampoo. He looked blankly at Cologne.

"So? Your laws are no concern of mine." Ranma snorted and turned towards his pack. The old crone’s voice rang out from behind him.

"Oh, I think it will be Son-in-law. I do not recommend that you try not to oppose 3000 years of Amazon tradition." Cologne’s eyes flashed dangerously and Ranma noticed slight tensing of the muscles in the wrinkled form, and the air around the Elder fairly shimmered with power. Ranma merely raised an eyebrow. By now, Shampoo had woken up. She was glaring at Ranma with hate and fear in her eyes. Ranma stared her down for a second before speaking.

"And who’s gonna stop me, you?" Cologne fumed. Something about the insolent male’s biting and sneering tone angered her to no end. How dare this outsider mock the Amazons and 3000 years of proud Joketsuzoku history?

"I am the head matriarch of the Chinese Amazon tribe boy, you are a hundred fifty years too young to oppose me, let alone three thousand years of amazon tradition." Ranma’s hand flashed out at speeds almost impossible to see by normal people, and even trained warriors. But to Cologne, it was merely a swift swing of the arm. She was fast, and strong. There was no way the young insolent male could do harm to her this far away, and even if there was, she’d be fast enough to block or dodge it. Except a loud and clear clap of a gunshot rang out through the village.

"And you’re 9mm lead short of life, old ghoul." Ranma sneered as Cologne fell off her staff. The crowd around them gasped. Ranma, getting annoyed of the collective gasps of the people, pointed the gun to the nearest villager and with all the control, finesse, and speed of a highly-trained and powerful martial artist, blew his brains out. "Such annoying people."

= = = = =

Ranma sat on the ground, cross-legged, idly cleaning his gun. The wind was blowing gently and the sun was shining brightly. Ranma ran his hand through his hair as he began to whistle a cheery little tune. Several minutes passed as he finished cleaning his gun and put it back together. Leading it with a clip full with 12 bullets, he pointed it at a nearby tree, and took aim. Without taking a shot, he merely put it in his large Bag of Stuff. He felt an arm go around his shoulders and sighed. She left him alone for more than an hour now. He should be grateful for that at least, the pig-tailed martial artist thought to himself.

"What is it Shampoo?" said Ranma lazily. The purple-haired former-amazon smiled.

"Airen strong and very brave. Airen free Shampoo from too too bitchy great-grandmother and too too restricting traditions. But Airen…" she paused for a second and looked around their surroundings, where there were no people around for miles and miles. "Why we stay in dead village? It starting to smell here." No people that were _alive_ that is. Ranma merely shrugged.

"I’m not your Airen, Shampoo. I said I’ll let you come with me, but that doesn’t mean I’m marrying you. Anyway, I was about to leave this place soon, so stop whining and get your stuff ready." Ranma lifted up his Bag of Stuff along with his large backpack. Shampoo nodded and ran towards one of the houses. When she came back, she had a medium-sized backpack on her back.

The pair left the amazon village, on their way to Japan, a new life for one, and a return for the other.

TBC..

Next time…

Why is Ranma so different from the Ranma we all know and love/hate?

Further mischief in China, and maybe a return to Japan.

Author’s Note: It’s been three months since I wrote the original part one and since then I’ve written and finished parts two and half of three. The quality have since degraded though, so I decided to rewrite two and see if I can get any good ideas on upcoming chapters.